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Monday, January 28, 2013

Opening Late 2013



Photo credit: Getty Images
It’s New Year. Never mind that January is almost spent. Believe me when I say the year has just started. At least for me, it just has. I lately finished a prolonged sessional exam. You mightn’t understand that. Well, you really shouldn’t anyway, it’s personal. But you still might. If you started 2013 with the burdens of 2012 that you recently dealt with, you would relate well with this; that the year has only started.

Do you understand the pains of feeling nothing? Can you say you have ever woken up to the fear of nothingness, a tasteless indifference? Now, see where I am coming from, life is full of sensitivities: the sensitivities of pains; of losses; of gains; of love; of hurts; of shame; of pride. When you wake one day and realize those are lacking, then you should die. Or preferably put, give up your life, someone else needs the space. For me, the year has only started, because now, I feel the statics of love; of hurts; of shame; of pride; of gains; of losses. Don't bother that some I got through empathy, at least, I am now more human than you are. My year has just started.

I will tell you little about my Mum, little about what she did today, this morning. She marveled me. Sometimes, I’d imagine how my Mum makes my Dad’s love perfect, and I’d be jealous. My Mum did something this morning and I hated myself for it. She surprised me. I have been suffering from indecisiveness lately, my Mum changed that. She took a decision, she was smart with it. She took a step, she did it briskly intelligent. Now, she has become a roadside seller, transacting in what she loves best, in the business she hopes to leave in our bloods. 

She’s comfortable, she is averagely rich. I wouldn’t know why she did that. But my Mum is a business woman, not the formal one, she is creative in it. My mum did something this morning, she set up a shade in front of our house, she commercialized the spot. More puff-puffs, eggrolls and pies.  Soon, I will begin to envy those school children as they take bits of my mother’s care. My Mum did something this morning, she took a decision when I was still snoring on my bed, dreaming about lofty goals. She took a step and tooled with it. I slept with mine. I have been sleeping on mine, drooling on it. She just started the year.

I have been in love. I was madly in love. I am still loving. Three different statements that capture the turbulence of my emotion. I am confused. No! That can’t be. I can’t be. Say I am a fool. I opened my heart and roses were not thrown at it. I never said daggers were hurled at it either. I hate poetry. If this paragraph is turning one, tell me and I will discard it. They say love makes you mad and write poetry, that’s stereotypic. How about this? It should be a diversion from the old; love makes you blogpost. That sounds better. I loved from 2012, packed its grime and trash to this year. The year can’t be messier than it is now. Love isn’t a mercy; call it a mess, a patient, a sacrifice. I want to unlove now and face the year. The year wouldn’t start with it. Folake knows better. Fake Folake faked me.

I have seen two deaths at a close succession. Two deaths on different spots, at different locations. One had blood spilling from his mouth and head on end. The other had mockery in its wake. I have seen two deaths, two different deaths. One was lying in the middle of the road with her fishes scattered about. The second scarred my love and changed her; made her vulnerable. I have seen two deaths. One I witnessed with its fresh body still warm. The other, I was told had been seriously mocked in sicknesses before its ghost took off. I have seen two deaths before the year started. Now, I am born because I have seen too many deaths for two eyes. 

Let’s start this year immediately! Welcome. 



24 comments:

  1. Welcome strong self. The year may have started for some other persons, but it is good that you observe that yours is just starting; not how fast, but how well. It's also great to know that you observe important things too; that a wonderful woman decided to start off a business for the sake of her children; and that there were bodies left to public glare without rescue from concerned authorities. We have prayed and hope that 2013 will be a better year that anyother gone!

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  2. Thank you so much Debby. I like this; "..not how fast, but how well." I also daily pray that 2013 be better o. I know God will all answer our prayers. Thanks for reading and commenting.

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  3. Your flow was sweet and smooth. I read it non-stop to the end. A timely piece, worth pondering upon.

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  4. @Abdalmasih. Thank you so much, bro. I so much appreciate you for reading and commenting.

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  5. I love the way you write...everything meshed together came out beautiful.

    Your mum is surely a great woman, while we are still thinking she is already doing.

    Thanks for visiting my blog

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  6. This is a beautiful piece of work. There is a steady rythym to it that keeps a reader glued. More power to your elbow. N as the year progresses, I sure do hope for more of your writing.

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  7. Happy New Year Strong Self. Guy wake up from your slumber and emulate your mom.

    I enjoyed the poetry and flow this post. Here's my toast to a beautiful year ahead for you.

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  8. this is so beautiful....
    this is the kinda piece that will actually move u.
    God bless you and happy new year..

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  9. This is very deep! Good thing is you're no longer numb but feel things.Indecision is something we all fight with at various points in life.

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  10. @'Lara. Thank you for the comment. Yeah, my Mum sure is. She inspired this post in the most poetic way too. I love your blog and the way you go about it. I have you on my reading list now. Thank you.

    @Aryn. Now, you're gonna make my head swell *smiling*. Thank you. I just visited your blog and I really love your writing style. Keep blogging fellow blogger.

    @Ginger. Happy New Year to you too. Sweet Ginger, I already did o. I did that yesterday morning ke. Now I know the slumber don't pay meh... I don wake up tey-tey. Thank you for the comment, you're an inspiration.

    @yeva. God bless you more abundantly, sister. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Thank you.

    @A-9ja-Great. Yeah, because what inspired it was even deeper. Seriously, I am happy I have shoved indecision aside, thanks to my mother. Thanks for the comment, bro. *chop knuckle*

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  11. I loved the floe of this. It reads like a song. You're a talented young man and your mom is awesome.

    Thanks for always coming by my blog and commenting. Have an amazing year ahead *hugs*

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  12. @Toinlicious. *blushing*. Thank you. Thanks for always coming on this space to read and comment too, for always honouring here with your queenly presence. Thank you.

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  13. This is a great write-up, you keep improving by the day. Happy New Year and 2013 be a year of blessings for you and your family.

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  14. Nice monologue. Happy new year.

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  15. @Myne. Thank you. You keep encouraging me every time with your comments too. Happy New Year to you, I wish you, your family and friends blessings all through the year.

    @ilola. Happy New Year. Thanks for reading and commenting.

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  16. A lot of thoughts apparently run through your mind. Interesting train...this is some kind of artform. Maybe you should perform it

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  17. @Afronuts. Thanks. I love the way you describe the post. I will think about what you said, I will think about performing it soon at a literary event in my neighborhood. Thank you man, I appreciate the comment.

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  18. I need to take lessons from your mum on kick starting dreams....happy new year bro.

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  19. Nicee. I Love how you write. Good that you have dusted yourself, loved the love-poetry-like part. Happy New year

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  20. @sykik. Seriously, my Mum will be happy to take you through that. Happy New Year to you too. Thanks for the comment.

    @Morounfoluwa. The poetry I don't like is what you now like about that paragraph, now I am going to cry *lol*. Happy New Year to you. Thanks for the comment.

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  21. Loooved your piece, strong self. Lovely piece of prose. Can certainly relate with the mish mash of emotions, especially looking at your mum and wishing you could be as proactive and weren't 'drooling' on your dreams. There's a saying that whenever a man wakes up, that's when his morning begins. So your year has just begun. I wish you the very best. I'm sure you'll make the most of it.

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  22. @Oluchi. Thank you so much! And welcome back on blogosphere. It's really been a long time! Welcome back. Thanks for reading and commenting.

    I like this; "There's a saying that whenever a man wakes up, that's when his morning begins."

    Happy New Year, Oluchi and I wish you the greatest all through it.

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  23. Happy new year! New on the blog.

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  24. @Nikkisho. Thank you for dropping by. Please, do come around soon. Thank you. Happy New Year to you too.

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